Text Message Dating

by Barbara Aufiero

Text messaging has become a popular method of communication in dating relationships. It is faster and easier to type a few abbreviated words than to have an actual verbal conversation. Text message dating is dating at your pace with less emotional risk. Unlike conversations that occur face-to-face or over the phone, text messaging allows you to say what you want to say while withholding intimacy.

Function

Text-message dating has come about as a result of the advancements in technology. Whether it is sent from a cell phone or BlackBerry, a text message is a quick and convenient way to get in touch with someone. It also allows you to be kept abreast of someone's daily activities. The recipient of a message is often glad to get it because it means that someone was thinking about them.

Effects

Despite all the changes in dating, waiting for someone to contact you is still as frustrating as ever. However, text messaging allows you to replace nerve-wracking conversations and get right to the point. In times of disagreement, you can avoid verbal arguments by sending messages back and forth. Some people even tell the person they are dating things that are difficult to say such as "I cheated on you" or "It's over." Doing so prevents someone from having to witness and deal with the effects of such statements on the other person.

Considerations

Text messages replace phone calls more and more every day. Although communication may be more frequent with text messaging, the content is often trivial. Meaningful conversations typically do not take place via text message. In fact, many text messages are sent late at night, especially after having a few drinks. The purpose of these messages more often than not is to meet up with someone and have sex. Sadly, this becomes the basis of many relationships. A few texts may be sent during the week to stay in touch but that is just a prelude to the "Where are you?" text.

Significance

The rise of text-message dating has made the term "dating" extremely vague. There is no longer a standard answer to the question, "What is a date?" Are two people who communicate mostly by text messages and take a roll in the hay from time to time, dating? Does an impromptu, late-night text message resulting in a meeting constitute a date? Also, since the concept of dating is rather unclear, how do you know if you are exclusive? Since text-message dating requires a lot less time and commitment than traditional dating, dating more than one person or cheating on your partner is an option that is much more readily available.

Benefits

Sending text messages makes people less inhibited than they would be if they communicated the same message verbally. Text message dating also allows you time to think about your response before informing the other person of it. Also, to get out of answering or dealing with something, you can deny that you received the message at all. When running late to meet someone, sending a text message is a good idea to prevent a tiff upon your arrival. In addition, it can be hard finding meeting up with someone in a bar or club. However, you can tell someone exactly where to find you via text message and then begin your so-called date.

About the Author

Barbara Aufiero has been writing health-related articles since 2008, specializing in mental health and health insurance. Aufiero resides in New York and holds a Master of Arts in psychology.

Photo Credits

  • photo_camera www.jott.com